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Partner at Tulchan Group. Priest in Church of England. Bad dancer

Wednesday 9 March 2011

Wap Bap a Loo Bap

As those of you who follow me on Twitter have probably worked out I am a fairly upbeat kind of Ordinand – sorry about the inflammatory text about International Men’s Day, and for revealing that hearing “Shine Jesus Shine” is harder for me to endure than root canal surgery -  and thanks for your robust replies on both.  Ordinangst loves the banter you see…..
This is my first post that tries to offer a serious perspective on training for ministry in the Church of England and I thought a good place to start might be the BAP (Bishop's advisory panel - effectively the final selection process that "passes" you to become an Ordinand). 

As always, dear reader (Ordinangst loves that – so Jane Austen!) my aim is to be constructive rather than whingey.  If there is one thing that Ordinangst can’t bear (apart from “Shine Jesus Shine”, oh, and while we’re at it “O Lord My God, When I in Awesome Wonder” agh agh) it is whingers.  Especially in Churches.  Holy whingers are an appalling thing – you can’t evangelise people into a Church you whinge about.
Anyway.  In a non-whingey kind of way, Ordinand has to say that his BAP was the most depressing two days of his life.  The best piece of advice was given to me by a vicar friend in preparation for it was: "in order to get through the panel it is important not to try and evangelise anyone there, and don't mention Jesus in any conversation you have."  Hmm. 

Here is what my BAP was like....Place a bunch of twenty people in a nissen hut in freezing Ely who all believe in one way or another that they have been called to the ministry.  Ensure that for every minute of the process they feel like they are in the big brother house.  Ensure that every meal feels like a trial where candidates are being marked on their ability to pass the water and serve vegetables in a gracious way.  Ensure there is no independent chaplaincy support for candidates during the process. Discourage discussion or friendships between candidates.  Ensure that you the panellist make instant decisions on candidates on the basis of all the old prejudices - (age, sex, class, race) on what "flavour" of Anglican the candidate is.  Then make sure they are as unwelcoming as possible to "the other side" - hey, this is the universal church after all.  Make the interviews themselves unenthusiastic on the basis that it would be AWFUL if we celebrated a calling...that would be far too Catholic.  Respond to candidates' enthusiasm about ministry with patronising homilies about the Church needing ministers to work on deprived estates in the North of England and nowhere else. Really?   And send 'em home wondering if they still want to do it.

Dear readers Ordinangst totally advocates tough selection for what is clearly going to be a tough job.  But does it really have to be that gloomy?

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous said...

    (I am only anonymous because I have no idea what a url is - sorry!)
    I have been catching up with your blog posts (i'm also an ordinand - I start college in September - wish me luck....) and I think you were unlucky with your BAP. I really enjoyed mine (at Shallowford). The food was good and I did not have to make it; the company was excellent; and the eucharist and offices engaged me.
    The interviewers seemed very interested in my experience of God and why I thought I needed to share that experience as an ordained minister - even if they struggled with the idea that I would abandon my day job.
    So, no - it doesn't need to be that gloomy!

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